Ok now picture this: You’ve been flown to Hamburg, Germany to witness the reveal of Mercedes-Benz’s flagship vehicle, the hallowed S-Class. They shuttle you to a giant hangar at the Airbus factory, next to where the fuselage of the world’s biggest commuter plane, the A380, is built. Once there the fine craftsmen at Benz ply you with plate after plate of gastronomic delicacies, and then wash it all down with bottles of champagne, Johnny Walker and enough alcohol to stun the entire Florida State campus. Once you’re good and well plied they lead you to a large auditorium where a gorgeous blond begins to recite the many excellences of the Mercedes brand, and then shows on a large screen the guest of honor, the S-Class, arriving to the factory in a massive red and yellow DHL airplane. Sure, it’s all quite opulent — but nothing we haven’t seen before.
And then, suddenly, it happens. The back wall opens up exposing the wide rain-slicked airfield behind it, the backdrop of which is an enormous A380. A SLS AMG sits center, and then begins doing donuts. Before it can finish a 720, a representative of each of the vast Benz fleet rushes from out of view to the tarmac, lead by the S-Class itself. Fireworks start shooting into the sky, lighting up the dark clouds with their plumes of gold. Actual lightning flashes across the skies. It could not have been scripted any better by Punor himself (or as the Norse call him, Thor). Then the S-Class rides onto the stage of the luxury suite, the back door opens, and out walks Alicia Keys. At that very moment, actual thunder boomed.
It was fitting Punor oversaw the festivities, because not only is he the Germanic god of thunder but he’s also the god of hallowing, as in consecrating. And for Mercedes Benz there is no vehicle more holy than the S-Class, their flagship car and the very vehicle on which they pin their long-earned laurel wreath of luxury. The S-Class represents luxury, and the S-Class unlike any other car in their line-up represents Mercedes-Benz.
Hence the bombastic pomposity of the event. This was no time for subtlety, as the Tristar decided to consecrate the evening with all guns blazing. And fireworks shooting into the black clouds.
So Alicia sat down in front of the Hamburg Symphony Orchestra (yes, they invited the actual Hamburg Symphony Orchestra) and proceeded to serenade the hall of international auto journalists, executives and guests with “That Girl Is On Fire”, in a voice that sent goosebumps crawling across arms. There are worse fates than to be flown to Germany to witness the unveiling of a world class luxury car, let me tell you.
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