Whoever first uttered the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts,” didn’t live in a postmodern, consumerist country. Give me an uncut diamond and I’m polishing it up until my right arm is disproportionately bigger than the left (like it’s not already, psh!). But it’s all masturbation anyway, right? Besides, I was thinking of getting my girl an oyster necklace, or a scarf made of silkworm larvae, or a box of brownie mix. My point: Is the uncut diamond ring an original and unique $5,000 statement, or just an excuse to half-ass your diamond ring production? Finish what you started, I’ve got more important things to polish.
For all she knows, it could be solid asphalt