Man, watching the white-hot snorting disaster that is Charlie Sheen’s unraveling has become 2011’s most compelling train wreck. The whole meltdown received the inevitable Taiwanese animation treatment this weekend, and as can be expected its genius is unbridled. I get the “fire breathing fists” and the strumpet in the bikini — hell, even Chuck Lorre getting morphed into a steaming pile of excrement — but can someone please explain the Angry Snowman? What, is that like the anthropomorphic interpretation of his raging cocaine habit? And if so, shouldn’t the Snowman therefore be like 12 ft tall… maybe with fire breathing fists himself? Some of Sheen’s best recent meltdown quotables: “I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA”, “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen!”, comparing himself to an F-18 fighter plane and saying he could strafe opponents even while “napping”, vowing he’s “healing at a pace that [the] unevolved mind cannot process”, arguing his brain “fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm“, saying his partying “was epic, the run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children”, and calling himself and his friends “gnarly gnarlingtons… high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks”…huh? Vatican Assassin Warlocks?! Sounds like the next Nicolas Cage masterpiece. I want to know one thing: where the hell is this guy’s publicist? Don’t they have very expensive people hired specifically to bottle in ego-maniacal explosions like this? But the best has to be his adamant resolution that he’s saved himself with his mind, by totally curing himself of any addiction: “The only thing I’m addicted to is winning… another one of [Alcoholics Anonymous] mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind… I’m gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world.” Ahhhh, ok guy. Yes, you are very very special. There’s a pretty funny Kacey Jordan Howard Stern interview worth giving a listen if you’ve got some time to kill, but otherwise very little point in losing any more time with this delusional megalomaniac. Enjoy the animation, and then let’s pull this guy off the TV already…

17 Responses to “Charlie Sheen’s Raging Megalomania Gets the Inevitable Taiwanese Animation Treatment”

  1. Dick Dastardly says:

    Actually… his publicist quit like a few days ago. So yeah… Homeboy is flying solo dolo.

  2. Madman Mundt says:

    Fly free, sweet bird, fly free…
    …feels like homeboy is flying solo dolo like Icarus on this one…

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