You know who’s gotta be more stoked than anyone for Charlie Sheen’s recent massive public psychological unraveling? Lindsay Lohan — seriously, that girl’s gotta be so stoked that there’s a new celebrity punchline in town, one that’s done so much cocaine it makes Lindsay look like a harmless After School Special. Of course regardless of Mr. Sheen’s $2 mill/episode salary, you know the guy wasn’t exactly stuffing his savings account — the dude was (allegedly) printing $30,000 checks to porn stars written to “cash”. So lucky for Charlie Sheen’s bank account that AGWA de Bolivia has just announced their Coca Leaf Liqueur — just in time to invigorate the poor megalomaniac’s bank account before his whore and crack budget completely evaporates. Who’re we kidding, poor guy’d probably be paid in product and end up flying his private jet right into a pool filled with Belvedere vodka and topless Hooters waitresses (could be worse). Help poor Charlie out, and pick up a 750 ml bottle of Sheen’s finest for only $29 — the translucent green liqueur claims to be the world’s first and only spirit derived from coca leaf, so you know it’s gotta be a good time.

No Responses to “Cocaine + Alcohol = Charlie Sheen’s Surefire Next Endorsement Deal”

  1. mick says:

    You guys have a sick website with such exquisite imagination! Keep up the good/great work U animalistic creatures! LOL

  2. Teotzlcoatl says:

    This article sucks. This is NOT the first alcoholic drink with coca leaf in it, it’s a half ass attempt to recreate something from long ago before cocaine was illegal. It’s really nothing more than green alcohol and doesn’t have enough cocaine in it even for a small bump.

Leave a Reply