If you’ve been to the Aspen lodge with Lloyd Christmas, or done a time-defying ski run worthy of a scene in Hot Tub Time Machine, you probably are in need of some proper head gear. Good, because the Osbe Proton Senior Ski Helmet is for serious hardcore snow athletes like yourself. Bragging points include: multi-impact resistant shell that will ward off your next concussion, visor with mirrored-flash for a little 007-gadget increased peripheral vision and UV protection, micrometric buckle — which means adjusting with your gloves will make you feel less like a fumbling lobster — and then of course the goggle-strap holder and helmet bag. Other perks (because yes, there are more) include the Direct Air Flux (DAF) ventilation system (because your brain needs central heating and air conditioning), removable plush lining, and if you’re really getting crazy you can purchase a music/phone accessory so you can call Mom while hitting the half-pipe. Do your next black diamond while looking like an astronaut for $299.
Because you should be shredding the mountain, not your skull