29 Sep
The Elf pens a plea to the Oz behind Sallie Mae

NOTE: Albert Lord is the CEO of Sallie Mae. Sallie Mae is a privately owned American student loan company. If that company were a person, it wouldn’t be like Sally Struthers or even like the mamma of Forrest Gump, Sally Field. It would be more like Kim Jong-il or Dick Cheney. Dear Mr. Lord (or […]


Part II of the Elf’s Swimming With Sharks adventure. Click HERE to first read Part I…  Above image courtesy of Bill Fisher …The water was clear. Mackerel swam around us, but my mind was on bigger fish, obviously. Where were they? When would they show up? Would there be a sound? For about a minute […]


The Elf has been documenting her plight with unemployment here for awhile now in her Bureaucracy for Breakfast series (read previous posts HERE), and since Day One she’s been trying everything from auditioning for Jerry Springer because it paid $500 to speaking gibberish in a meditation class. Well last month she traveled to Guadelupe Island, Mexico […]


29 Jun
A call to arms against the most nefarious force known to students

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIII, vol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII, vol XIV, vol XV , vol XVI and vol XVII) Sometimes I like to exaggerate a wee bit and maybe say things in an over-the-top sort of manner to try and get a laugh […]


6 Jun
The power of the pouf

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII, vol XIV, vol XV and vol XVI) Hi readers. Well, this new post was going to be a light-hearted, hilarious book report on Snooki’s glorious novel A Shore Thing since, yes, I read it. […]


25 Apr
The Curse of Medusa, Californication and big giant tampons

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII, vol XIV and vol XV) Back in December I suffered from that she-devil known as “writer’s block.” You’d think — considering the nature of writer’s block and who suffers from it — that […]


15 Mar
Even if she gets a leg chopped off, she'll make it funny...

For the last nine months our very own Elf has been writing about her continuing saga of being laid off and unemployed for LIAS. Her column, Bureaucracy for Breakfast, was picked by Chelsea Handler’s Borderline Amazing Comedy website as a featured blog, and now The Elf is trying to turn her adventures into a book. […]


8 Mar
Scientology, Snooki and the death of poetry

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII and vol XIV) I’m a prime target for pyramid schemes, Scientology, and cults in general right about now. Writing is nifty and babysitting helps but the need for some serious income is […]