Part II of the Elf’s Swimming With Sharks adventure. Click HERE to first read Part I…  Above image courtesy of Bill Fisher …The water was clear. Mackerel swam around us, but my mind was on bigger fish, obviously. Where were they? When would they show up? Would there be a sound? For about a minute […]


The Elf has been documenting her plight with unemployment here for awhile now in her Bureaucracy for Breakfast series (read previous posts HERE), and since Day One she’s been trying everything from auditioning for Jerry Springer because it paid $500 to speaking gibberish in a meditation class. Well last month she traveled to Guadelupe Island, Mexico […]


5 Aug
Learning to channel your inner Johnny Utah

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment… and now, she finally has to face her greatest fear: Swimming with Great White Sharks… Read previous posts HERE It’s cool to be an adrenaline junky, like Bodhi taught Johnny Utah to be in Point Break. Remember the look of pure ecstasy on Keanu’s sexy face […]


7 Jul
Soup Cans Exhibition opens July 9 at MOCA

In 2011 it’s easy to dismiss Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup Cans as been-there-done-that monotony. Who wants to stare at a painting of an object you can buy for less than a dollar at Ralphs or the 99 Cent Store? I do, and we all should. Warhol’s iconic painting is actually thirty-two paintings side by side, […]


6 Jun
The power of the pouf

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII, vol XIV, vol XV and vol XVI) Hi readers. Well, this new post was going to be a light-hearted, hilarious book report on Snooki’s glorious novel A Shore Thing since, yes, I read it. […]


25 Apr
The Curse of Medusa, Californication and big giant tampons

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII, vol XIV and vol XV) Back in December I suffered from that she-devil known as “writer’s block.” You’d think — considering the nature of writer’s block and who suffers from it — that […]


8 Mar
Scientology, Snooki and the death of poetry

The continuing saga of one girl’s plight with unemployment…(read vol I,  vol II, vol III, vol IV, vol V,  vol VI, vol VII, vol. VIIIvol IX, vol X,  vol XI, vol XII,  vol XIII and vol XIV) I’m a prime target for pyramid schemes, Scientology, and cults in general right about now. Writing is nifty and babysitting helps but the need for some serious income is […]


21 Jan
The Boardwalk Empire concubine poses for MUSE

Everyone’s favorite Jersey trollop (obviously excluding Snooki and JWoww fans out there), Paz de la Huerta poses for the latest issue of MUSE magazine. People seem pretty divided over Paz’s turn as the goldigger/prostitute/concubine Lucy Danzinger in Boardwalk Empire, but I kinda dig homegirl’s tenacity. Not the brightest bulb of course, but something tells me […]