There seems to be an inordinate amount of black watches being released lately, some with a simple noir theme while others are completely blacked out, darker than Dick Cheney’s soul at an orphanage. The pricetags similarly run the gamut from an affordable $500 for Angular Momentum’s Roiro watch to a mind-blowing $1,000,000 for Hublot’s garishly titled and priced Black Caviar Bang (still, it is a beauty). All Swiss made, these elegant timepieces separate themselves from the frosted-hair mob of Jacob-obsessed pretenders with a powerful statement of anti-bling.

9 Blacked-Out noir watches that turn heads with darkness, simplicity and subtlety below…

1. The Black Belt Watch
You don’t get any more black than this, if simply for the fact that you cannot buy Yvan Arpa’s Black Belt Watch unless you’ve achieved said belt in a qualifying martial art (when ordering you actually must attach a copy of your black belt certificate). Corny? Perhaps. I’m also not feeling the belt on the face, altho I like the details: hands that resemble Shinai (Kendo wooden swords), belts texturized to resemble gi material, and  “For Black Belt Only,” engraved in rose gold in the back of the watch. Launched at the end of October, the Black Belt Watch is steel and coated in black PVD with a satin finish, attached to a textured rubber-over-calfskin leather strap. Retail price of about $3,000.

2. Bell & Ross BR-03 92 Watch
With its BR-01 Phantom, Bell & Ross was one of the first to release an all-black watch. Like the BR-01, its progeny the BR-03 is limited edition of 500 pieces. Altho stealth bomber black and beautifully matted, the hour markers are finished with considerable black photo-luminescent paint, which makes the watch easy to read in darkness. Nice touch. Reatils for about $3500.

Check out the seven more Blacked-Out timepieces after the Jump…

3. Hublot Black Caviar Bang
One would think that the Black Belt Watch would win dumbest name award, but along comes the ridiculously titled Black Caviar Bang to take the cake. As obnoxious the name, it actually fits as the timepiece takes more than 2,000 hours to create, each element individually crafted. The watch’s case is made entirely of 18k white gold embellished with copious “Black Caviar” – aka over 500 pieces of extremely rare black diamonds (322 diamonds on the case, 179 bezel diamonds, 13 on the crown and 30 on its white gold clasp for a total sum of 544 pieces of black diamond). That’s a total of 34.5 carats! The price? Over $1,000,000. Start saving today.

4. Hublot Big Bang All Black II
Wrought from black ceramic (including the wristlet, the world’s first), the All Black II is a followup to Hublot’s All Black and retails for a much more affordable $17,500.

4 & 5. Angular Momentum Urushi Japanese Koi and Roiro Lacquer Watches
Urushi is an ancient natural lacquer that comes from a Japanese Lacquer tree, and Angular Momentum has created a collection using Urushi that embraces Japanese symbolism (like the Koi above). The Roiro watch on the right means “wax color” which represents the highest quality black colored “makuro” polished lacquer. Each watches is crafted in a 40.5mm wide steel case with sapphire crystals. I like the minimalism, altho it’s a bit dainty for my taste. About $500 each.

6. Audemars Piguet Millenary Carbon One Tourbillon Chronograph
Unveiled early this month, and limited to only 120 watches, Audemars Piguet‘s Millenary Carbon One Tourbillon Chronograph is constructed of both glossy and matte black ceramic. Its Tourbillon movement stores mechanical energy, meaning the watch needs only be wound once. As it is an Audemars Piguet, expect very high dollars.

7. Linde Werdelin Hard Black DLC II and 8. SpidoLite
Based on Linde Werdelin’s One, these both are all black DLC (diamond like carbon) coated case finish with reptile straps, and are both limited to 88 pieces. Hard Black DLC II goes for $7300 USD, and $14,500 for the Spidolite.

A full-size gallery below, including a very large Hublot “Big Black Bling Billionaire Bang” just because its details are too beautiful to not appreciate in large format. It looks like a machine of vengeance from Matrix…