Alright, I realize this isn’t the Huffington Post or something, but there’s something I gotta get off my chest…

(Read Lo Pan’s Sarah Palin-inspired rant after the Jump)
How come no one is hitting up Palin on the fact that she’s a Creationist? I mean, it gets mentioned in passing, but never pointed out as a big deal — as if it’s something that’s completely normal and acceptable that the potential leader of the “free world” believes the Earth is 6000 years old, all the evidence to the contrary be damned (all those dinosaur bones? Big Guy put ‘em there just for shits and giggles. Grand Canyon? Dug quickly during lunch break of Day 4). Can anyone picture Obama saying he believes in the Easter Bunny and still be running for office? (Actually, would it be the Muslim Bunny?) People would be all over him and dismiss him as some crazy dude, and that’d be that. But for some reason, Creationists get a pass based on the fact that it’s their “faith”.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s completely OK to believe in some wacky shit. I for one believe that unless I whack off thrice a day, the world will end. Do I know rationally that this is unlikely? Sure, but we agree it is possible, so why risk total global annihilation just to spare my little Lo Pans flying free. Hence, my daily diligence.

Which reminds me, I’ll be right back. Talk amongst yourselves for a few minutes…

Ok, back. Armageddon averted for another day. Where was I…

…ah yes: Like I said, completely OK to believe in some wacky stuff. But it’s NOT ok to insist teaching it in school, in Science class no less, when there is NOT ONE BIT of scientific evidence to support it. Nor is it OK to ban books in America simply because you don’t believe in what they say. To treat the “theory” of creationism as on par with the theory of evolution is just ridiculous. One follows a strict method (one could call it “scientific”), has tons of evidence pointing to it, with more being added continuously, the other has… a book. A 2000 year old, badly translated book of stories that even people that believe in it argue about non-stop.

I don’t understand why people pussyfoot around this as if it’s something that needs to be discussed. Yo! Creationists! You be crazy! Again, believe what you want, but don’t go around acting as if you got some sort of evidence so support your wackiness. Creationism is not a scientific “theory”, it is a fictional narrative — there is a difference. Only because there are pieces missing in the theory of evolution doesn’t mean it’s just “a theory”. We know less about gravity than we do about evolution, but I don’t see anyone claiming gravity is just “God’s gentle hand pushing us down” and jumping off a building to prove it.

(Want more Palin wackiness? According to a Salon article, Palin said she’d seen dinosaur bones with human footprints in them, and Jesus will be coming back in her lifetime — meaning, that’s right, Armageddon. Oh, and have you seen the video of her getting protection from Witchcraft just this past JUNE? As in, protection from witches??? From a Kenyan Pastor who deemed a woman a witch and had her run from town. Sounds logical.)

So here’s what I suggest: If you believe that science’s got it all wrong, and evolution is just a big fat lie, fine. But then no using anything that science came up with for you, either. That means no computer, TV, cell phone, electricity, none of that (did you know that electricity is tiny little angels running back and forth, bringing magical fairy energy to things? True story!). If you don’t believe in the scientific method, then you don’t get to benefit from it either.

Be consistent and go live like the Amish, at least then I’d respect you a bit more. You can’t just cherry-pick the Science you like and the Science you don’t.

Now the abstinence only stuff – that sure works, you can’t argue with that.

Ricky Gervais’ take on Creationism. Makes sense to me…

Video of Palin receiving Witchcraft Protection…

And finally, MSNBC expose on Palin’s Witchcraft Protector…