The fact that my pelvis has just started to throb involuntary, and that I have an uncontrollable urge to peruse a career in heavy metal karaoke tells me that the US Air Guitar Championships are on their way back. I know where I’ll be this June (www.usairguitar.com). Plus, I can’t be sure, but this could be the dick that stole my PK Ripper back in the ‘80s. Fucking heshers. He didn’t have quite the impress molester moustache back then, and I don’t think he was wearing a bedazzled Speedo with 666 across it, but I swear I recognize that smug look of ass-whomping when he chumped me for my lunch money.