Ladies, we’ve got the perfect Valentines Day gift for your man’s collection of replica Swatches from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose (besides the obvious choice of a scrap-metal compactor), the Underwood Jewelry Safe & Watch Winder. Not only will this wonder-box safely store up to 40 of his Velcro-strapped timepieces — keeping them safe from public scrutiny behind 2-inch thick steel plates — but it’ll also wind them, ensuring he’ll always be ready for any quirky sitcom mission that my come his way. You can snag this 6-foot leather-clad jewelry box for a modest $85,700. Batteries and Velcro swatches not included.