With all the shit going down worldwide — Syria blowing up in flames, the mire in Afghanistan getting ever muddier, Israel threatening to go nuclear on Iran, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria — it’s about time someone took your personal safety seriously. Gone are the days you could just strap on a bicycle helmet and AYSO shin guards and hope to survive the day. That’s why the Damascus FX1 Hard Shell Crowd Control Suit is just what you need. The “ultimate high-threat level riot control, domestic disturbance, and cell extraction suit” features modular flex design front and back hard shell panels, forearm guards with flexible elbow joints and non-slip knee/shin guards that’ll keep you in place while all the other unprepared plebeians are left sliding around like Bambi on a frozen lake. Best of all, the 50-year old company Damascus (could it really have a more fitting name?) constructed its FX1 Hard Shell suit so it’s also lightweight and easy to take on or off at a moment’s notice — after all, you can’t expect those Mayans to tip you off when they’re gonna start going all ballistic and shit. You gotta be prepared. Get your own peace of mind for $550.

via Red Ferret