The new “Guns N’ Roses” album is available at Myspace to stream 3 days before you can “buy” it (like that’ll ever happen). To be honest, I couldn’t be less excited, and listening to it confirms my suspicions. I even had serious reservations about using the above logo to represent this “Guns N’ Roses”, as the current lineup couldn’t be further from what that image signified. The real Guns N’ Roses went into cardiac arrest the instant they kicked out drummer Steve Adler from the band in 1989. Sure, he wasn’t the best drummer in the world and he was partying his ass off, but once the chemistry was violated the band lost their mojo — which, at their peak, they had more than any band in history. And when Izzy left, you might as well have buried them 6 feet under. Tag ’em and bag ’em. Instead, they put out the over-produced, unbelievably underwhelming Use Your Illusion I & II, and then it was simply an abysmal dive to mediocrity (the great Lies, recorded with full band, notwithstanding).

Still, Appetite for Destruction was without a doubt the most important album of the Madman’s youth, and nothing will ever change that. In that honor only I use the above logo. Even with Axel’s psychotic preening and heretical usage of the GNR name, I still hold a special place in my heart for those 5 dudes above. (Sidenote: once you tattoo your fellow members on your skin, can you really fire them after that?) Fuck You Axel! Call yourself Axel Rose and His Interchangable Cast of Throwaways, or even Axel and the Who Cares. Just don’t call yourself Guns N’ Roses — Mr. Brownstown and the Rocket Queen took a bow and packed their bags for Paradise City two decades ago. Let the corpse rest.