Does anyone even remember Arkanoid? I sure do. Buy one of these, invite me over, and watch me annihilate you. I’ll bring  a 12 pack of Schlitz just to make you feel better, that way we can truly enjoy these modern revisions of the classic arcade game table. Who needs a new end table made from the best cherrywood, the finest oak, or even solid gold when your table can rock over 60 classic games — including names that will whisk you away in a nostalgic reverie such as Frogger, Donkey Kong, Arkanoid, Mr. Do, Dig Dug, 1942, Lady Bug, Burger Time, Congo Bongo, Time Pilot and of course my favorite, Galaga. God, remember how many afternoons you blew playing Lady Bug? Ok, maybe I’m dating myself. Made of sleek stainless steel and smoky tempered glass, the tables come standard with eight-way joystick, optional coin mechanism and standard buttons. They’re much less clunky than the original machines that clogged up 7-11 entryways after school, and at $3000-4000 a pop, it makes a much more responsible purchase than a used car or a semester of college — so do the upright thing, and let your house guests sit around a table equipped with a joystick. It’s etiquette.