We came here to do two things: chew bubble gum and celebrate America. And since we’re all out of bubble gum, we’re gonna switch over to Lagunitas IPA, a handle of Maker’s Mark, about 20 pounds in Mexican fireworks and enough raw meat to re-assemble an entire cow. Thanks for reading everyone, we’re gonna take a break to ruminate on our many gifts — and blessings this at-times vexing nation provides — and we’ll be back on Monday delivering the goods. Happy 4th of July everyone!