Forget about the office with the ping-pong desk, it’s time to convert your conference room into the medieval realm of Men recently plagued by rebel orcs — their underground tunnel system known only by Dungeon Master Gerald McFeerney from IT, an expert at both sword wielding and Javascript. Now you can set forth with your band of merry travelers, deep into the hidden confines of the Geek Chic Sultan board-game table where both peril and magic await you. In other words, you should get out more.

Geek Chic, the proud makers of furniture for geeks, bring you the Sultan which sits 6-10 nerds, making it the behemoth of boardroom-goes-gameroom furniture pieces. Some features include the 3 7/8″ dropped “game vault” surface, designed for the safe storage of maps and TPS reports, flip-down lap desks with secret drawers at each player station, an internal rail system, cup holders for your coffee, meads and potions, and the option for integrated built-in dice randomizers. Handles are available in either pewter or antique bronze, and you may choose your wood in walnut, cherry or maplewood. Yours for a mere starting price of $12,950 — +4 chain-mail armor that converts into Casual Friday khakis not included.