Like most bloggers in the Western Hemisphere, I have a inordinately misbalanced love for Lil Wayne. Sure, the guy nails clever metaphors like a Sizzurp Slurpin’ Mark Twain, but I’ve grown attached to P’tite Weezy for many a different reason. Mostly, cos the dude has balls the size of a mountain goat (I’ve seen mountain goat balls, by the way, and let’s just say there’s a reason why those little bastards hump every tin can in sight). Remember when our favorite drug dumpster was arrested on January 22, after DEA Agents stopped his tour bus near an AZ border checkpoint? A K9 started barking, and a search of the bus uncovered—get this—41 grams of ecstasy, four ounces of marijuana, a little over an ounce of cocaine and a .40 caliber pistol, registered to the Weez. 41 gs of e??? How long was this tour?

The best part? Yesterday he pleaded Not Guilty. Hallelujah! God Bless you Weezy, you’re hopefully clearing the lane for minor drug offenders everywhere. *sniff sniff*