My god what a shit show the 2012 Republican Presidential campaign has turned into… wait a second, was it ever good? You got one crap stain who left his wife with cancer so he could hook up with a younger mistress talking about the “sanctity of marriage” (you know, because Jesus doesn’t want “gays” to have a family), another guy who’s sexually harassed more ladies than Schwarzenegger in Brazil, that batshit crazy chick with Chucky eyes, the brain dead Ken doll from Texas, and the only guy that makes any sense is getting marginalized by his own party for — gasp! — actually being a real conservative (you’ll have your day, Ron Paul). No wonder Mitt “Corporations Are People” Romney is winning — how could he lose? So if the idea of the GOP presidential field has you face down revisiting your Taco Tuesday lunch special, for less than $2 you can get your fix of I Kissed A (Republican) Chewing Gum and cleanse your mouth of that horrific stink. You’ll need it come November.

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys their Rush Limbaugh & FoxNews fixes, you’ll probably enjoy the Democrat flavor after the Jump…