This is arguably the greatest story of epic tragedy since, I dunno, Laius and Jocasta decided to get busy. It’s like the trifecta of human suffering: hookers, booze and midgets. Oh, and decorative wrestling masks to match. Shouldn’t Michael Bay be paying some writer from Burn Notice to pen the script as we speak?? I cannot 100% confirm this story is real, but if it is then there is a whole new world of psychological terror awaiting me — one armed by a hooker with an eye dropper full of toxins. But it’s taken from The Sun, so it’s got about as much credibility as Rush Limbaugh on Oxycontin:

TWO hookers were being quizzed last night after a pair of wrestling MIDGETS died in a sex party – plunging an entire country into mourning. Pint-size grappler Alberto Jimenez, 35, and his twin Alejandro – national heroes in Mexico – were drugged and robbed after picking up two tarts at a hotel. The thieving hookers are believed to have spiked their booze with eye drops to knock them out – but the dose was too much for their tiny frames.

Ahhh, to be young, horny, and pockets filled with Mexican midget wrestling money…oh, the mind reels…