Remember when central Florida ruled the dance scene with an ecstasy-laced Mickey Mouse glove? Don’t lie, most people don’t either. But it happened. Orlando and Tampa for a brief, delicious, 8-up moment ruled the underground dancefloor with a distinct sound that could only be identified as “Funky Breaks”, aka Florida Breaks. Hard to believe that was almost 20 years ago. But don’t tell the Phat Kidz, aka DJ Nikita (Nikki Hernandez) and DJ Tweezy (JT Williams). With 12 years of vinyl spinning under their collective belts, the Central Florida duo teamed up in April of 2013 and started DJing and producing as Phat Kidz, and anyone who loves bass, 808s and breaks should be tickled orange. Their one-hour podcast for The Armory, the 68th in the series, can be heard below featuring many of their own remixes, including rerubs of Rick Ross, Skrillex, GTA and more. Enjoy in your headphones this weekend as you run around buying last minute gifts… or all your gifts, if you’re anywhere as procrastinating as us…

Play Phat Kidz “The Armory Podcast 068” below, and hit the Jump for full track list…

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There may be an ugly sweater party coming up for Christmas and you don’t have a thing to wear. Middle of Beyond (the guys in Austin, TX who like to knit and made this rug) won’t supply you with a sweater that is ugly enough to win you that prize of an evil Starbuck’s card, or hellish re-gifted tin of kettle corn. But you will certainly be bringing it home when it comes to rocking the evilest sweater in the room. With themes ranging from Krumpus to Zombie Santa to Cthulhu to the goat head of Satan, what better way to show your dark spirit for the absolute gayest time of year? Prices range from $40 to $80 in the MOB sweater store.

A look at Middle of Beyond’s “Krumpus” Evil Christmas Sweater after the Jump…

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If the world ever ends, you’re going to need to slice zombie brains and keep a diary in one arm motion — and that’s why ThinkGeek brings you the Tactical Notebook. For starters, it’s psychotically durable. That means the blood of the undead will wipe clean from its easy-clean surface and it’s got a much better chance of surviving a tripped land-mine than your foot does. Hooks and loops enable it to hold stuff like a serrated blade, tactical pen, reading book or human ear. Great for camping trips, deep undercover spy-work, and absentminded normal people who tend to spill coffee. Available in two sizes at the Think Geek store, at either $15 or $20.

It seems that the 1000% “Polar” Be@rbrick is indeed an endangered species, because it has already sold out. Having debuted recently at the Shanghai 2014 Yo’Hood tradeshow, Clot designer Edison Chen united with the Medicom toymakers and came up with the deliberately minimalist appearace as a Christmas collectible. The Clot x Medicom 1000% Polarbear Be@rbrick is part of a collection of joint endeavors, some of which include things like seasonal ice cream flavors. The phrase “I’m cold” appears on one of his legs, which is apparently a phrase frequently said by Chen himself. If the vinyl toy ever miraculously comes back in stock, you can get yours for $619. And by the way, if you’re buying special Christmas toy and ice-cream collabs, just know that’s totally grown up.

Spaceline is a brand that’s so modern they haven’t even happened yet, which kind of adds a fashion twist to the idea of the future being now. Inspired by spacesuits, this “Mars Line” jacket will keep you nice and astro-haute. The outerlining is made from a trilobal fiber that is not only waterproof and light reflective, but if you can figure out how to get it into space, be sure to let us know how it stands against meteors and moon gravity. Where the Mars Line really starts to get technical is the hood’s bluetooth speakers and corresponding in-sleeve remote control for your phone. Preorder now for the earthling equivalent of $2,357, and expect it in 2015.

True Groove All-Stars, headed up by producer/singer-songwriter and guitarist Tomás Doncker, have released a cover of Nick Lowe’s 1970s classic, “What’s So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding”. Founder of the True Groove record label, Doncker is a music icon in and of himself, getting his start in the NYC No-Wave movement of the 1980s. This track is Doncker’s example of an uplifting tune in time for the holidays. His record label True Groove just teamed up with music company the Orchard and has a number of newly released material and more on the way from artists such as Joe Bowie and James Chance.

Doncker is a proponent of the self-proclaimed movement Global Soul: the sound of our collective conscious. “The unified rhythm of heart beats creating a positive, spiritually uplifting force for good. Musically speaking it is not genre specific, but in fact genre inclusive. It is the best of what we have to offer to each other, from Brooklyn to Ethiopia, and every where in Between.” Wise words from a true musician. Stream the track below and check out other True Groove releases here.

Don’t wear a Native American headdress. But do wear an Indian chief skull ring. Or something. Maybe you’re a dude who always wanted to rock one of those cool-looking Sioux headdresses, but you just don’t want the immediate flack of either the Lakota Sioux tribe, or even worse — the self-whiteous hipsters of Silverlake — telling you that your fashion choices are offensive. Genocide can be a total fashion buzzkill like that. But a skull-faced Indian-chief ring is a lot easier to pull off — of your finger that is — than an entire headdress if someone out there isn’t cool with your looking cool. This Mr. Indian Chief Skull Ring by Mister is hand-sculpted in wax and then cast in alloy. Get yours for $68.

If Rosa Klebb can stand up against old-school James Bond with a dagger shoe, and Old Greg can drink Bailey’s from a shoe, there’s no reason you can’t put a little Johnnie Walker in your walk. The fine Oliver Sweeney brogue made from Italian calfskin with a leather heel and leather blake-stitch construction has more than just some red accents — it’s got a secret suede-lined whisky compartment that each comes with a mini of Johnnie Walker. Because the only thing you need more than a pair of shoes is a pair of whisky shots. Not sure on any specifics of the Johnnie Walker label, but you can get tiptoe like a tippler at the Oliver Sweeney store for just $489.